Right off the bat, I was thrown into situations where previously I’d failed. Class was intimidating. I was guided through the process of dealing with the assignments as they came, as well as coping with the stress and panic that had paralyzed me. Another threatening situation was dealing with my roommates, with whom I didn’t have much in common and had trouble relating to. Through group coaching and one-on-one coaching with my coach, I was able to learn to socialize with them without losing myself to the group. In all of this, my sense of self and trust in myself was growing. As my stay continued and my fear of failure subsided, I really began to thrive. By my third term with the program, I’d settled into a routine for school and was confident enough socially, both in terms of setting my own boundaries and in being comfortable with other people, that I was chosen to supervise the house that I lived in. I was able to branch out into areas I wanted to explore, like writing and art, to express myself. Also coming as a relief, my parents were able to relinquish control of my life as I began to find my own path; scary as it was for all three of us, it was empowering to me and satisfying for all of us.
After a full year at College Excel, I was ready to move on. After completing the program, I spent time at a smaller college in Portland, finishing my Associate’s degree. During this time I developed relationships, kept up with my schoolwork, and further developed my independence by getting my first steady job. I have now completed my bachelor’s degree in creative writing. Looking back, I feel like at College Excel I became a fully functioning person for the first time since before I became depressed, and a whole person for the first time in my life. My life is my own, but for the people I choose to share it with. I feel good, and College Excel helped me to do that.
After withdrawing from school, I searched for alternatives to traditional college, and a way to work through the personal and learning issues that held me back from my success, such as impulse control, personal finances, and time management.
When I visited College Excel, not only did the town of Bend appeal to me, with its myriad of outdoor activities, but so did the concept of coaching. At College Excel, coaches aren't punitive enforcers of the rules, but rather individuals who help bring awareness and perspective to your personal challenges.
Coaching offered an intriguing alternative to the traditional parent-child model.
One of the older students at College Excel, I spent my early days breaking some rules and leading others astray. But these early mistakes turned into great lessons.
I was never scolded or punished for my shortcomings, but was treated as an adult who had to take responsibility and ownership for my actions. I had a number of very serious and practical conversations with my coaches, where I was challenged to be a leader and step up and take action, instead of hiding from my problems.
As part of my growth, some other students and I started a student leadership committee that served as a liaison between the faculty and the greater College Excel community.
This was an extremely positive experience for me because it allowed me to participate and engage with my own process, while encouraging others to do the same. Rather than feeling helpless to affect change, both in our personal lives and within College Excel, students were given a forum and the power to do so.
Being part of this group was a responsibility that I earned and it was a turning point in my life. Through this process, I was able to be an active and contributing member of the community, and become more aware and engaged as both a student and human being.
My time at College Excel gave me the space I needed from the patterns and habits that had been holding me back in school and taught me to take ownership for myself and my life.
For lack of better terminology, I became a man and, as a man, became a positive instrument for change in my life and the lives of others.
After College Excel, I traveled and worked in India, and eventually returned to Yale, where I am currently a student.
In 2008, I moved out of my parent’s house and into my own place. I was working full time at a job I enjoyed. But in the fall of 2009, I was laid off from my job and fell into a deep depression.
I knew that I needed a change, but was not interested in a traditional rehabilitation or therapeutic program. I told my educational consultant that I wanted to find a program that would lend me the support I needed without keeping me from living the way I wanted, as an adult.
When I came to College Excel in May of 2009, I was instantly impressed with the staff and the community. My life coach engaged me on my level, and helped me identify and work towards my goals.
College Excel is a place that works for who students who really want to be here. I like to use the analogy of a car, when explaining this unique place. When a car is designed, it is tested on a treadmill. This vehicle works perfectly in this simulation, but the real test is when the rubber meets the road.
College Excel doesn't simulate real life and real college experience. It is those things. It tests you and teaches you right in the moments of your actual life, where the tires hit the pavement. You are doing the repairs while you're on the road so that, when you leave, you can smoothly keep on cruising ahead.
My time here has taught me about my strengths and weaknesses and showed me how to be responsible for my life and my choices. Through my work at College Excel, I was able to go to school, live and learn from being part of a diverse community, and get the help and support I needed to learn from the challenges I faced every day.
While at College Excel, I was able to get the support I needed to apply to the college of my dreams, St. John's College in Sante Fe, New Mexico. I was also given the tools and the wisdom to decide if leaving College Excel was the right decision for me at this time in my life. In the end, I want to thank this program, the staff, and students who supported me in my goals. Thanks to my experience at College Excel, I am now a student at St. John’s College, graduating class of 2013.
